A significant memorial marked…
Followed by a celebration that energized me for days!

The unexpected wave brought on by the fifth anniversary

I started feeling a bit of darkness creeping up in my brain on Sunday, and I couldn't figure it out. Sure, sleep wasn't fabulous, but that's kinda always the case these days. And then I realized, Monday was the 5th anniversary of my Momma's passing.

I'm not a practicing Jew, but my Momma always lit a Yahrzeit memorial candle for her parents, so I have kept up with the tradition that when a loved one passes before sunrise, you light their candle at sundown the night BEFORE their day of passing. Momma passed after midnight on August 10th, so Sunday evening, August 9th, Gianni and I lit the candle, spoke to Momma, and watched it flicker between us on our coffee table as we wound down the evening.

We pivoted to a fortnight…and I learned what a fortnight was…🤣

Wednesday morning I met up on Zoom with my wonderful coach Mike for the first time since he got back from summer break. I filled him in on all that had transpired, including the epiphany I had the previous week—that I am already enough. That I have had a magical career, and continue to! He smiled and asked, "What can I do for you to help you right now? What is it you need from me?" I took a deep breath and said bravely, "Accountability."

I agreed to get a new lead vocal done for the next song I want to premiere by the following Wednesday. We agreed that we didn't need to jump on a call; I could just shoot him an mp3 and then we'd meet up the week after. Mike suggested that we change our call schedule to a "Fortnight," to which I responded, "Sure…what's a Fortnight?" 😂

He chuckled and was surprised that we don't use that term here in the States, and I explained, "But we do, like in Ye Ole literature…probably set somewhere in England in the 1800s…'The soldiers traversed the plains for a Fortnight before arriving at the camp'"…was it every month?

Nope. He explained it meant every other week…and so now I can confidently proclaim "I meet up with my coach every Fortnight!"

Being me is not always a smooth sail, but I always find my footing

Ah, the day after a big event. Historically, I confess that a big gig can often be followed by that sense of let down. I get it. My brain is hungry for more dopamine, and the rest of me needs to get productive and live my life.

I felt a little slump the next morning…until a wave of enthusiasm kicked in. I wanted to work on the vocal for the song. "I can do this," was my mantra…and do it, I did!

I wound up doing a two-take lead vocal and was so inspired, I just kept going. Background vocals abounding…until I realized, wow, the volumes look pretty low.

Gianni came down later and confirmed that the lead needed to be re-sung, but thankfully the background vocals that would sit a lot lower in the mix were fine…he also started sparking some more production ideas for the tune…YAHOO…this was going to come together so much faster than I anticipated!!!! I dipped in and out of the studio the whole day refining other parts of the song. I was feeling really, really focused and energized until…I realized I worked through the day and never did a Friday Vibes post! 😩 I wrestled with "Should I do a late post? A Saturday Vibes post instead?" I decided to give myself grace and just let it go…

And I'm only mentioning this next part so that YOU, the reader, can hopefully relate and know that you too can survive some discomfort…

Saturday morning, I woke literally JUBILANT. I was bursting with enthusiasm and could not wait to get down into the studio. I was excited for Gianni to get down there too and start working on his ideas. And then, I realized, we were not on the same page. He had sooooo many other, and equally important tasks on his agenda. Part of which included scheduling an all-points maintenance check for my car in anticipation of an upcoming trip…and suddenly, the euphoria was replaced with the mundane, and my energy fizzled. I also had a fit of frustration when the car dealership's website refused to let me make a service appointment.

How could I shift not only so quickly, but so drastically? There was more to this than a misunderstanding of agenda…

I went outside and took in the blue sky, sun, chorus of birds and allowed myself to discover the root of my frustration. It wasn't that we weren't aligned—everything Gianni had planned was valid and important—it was that I felt the loneliness of thinking he was on the same path with me regarding the song. And ironically, he IS, he just had a different timeline in mind. As I write this, he is downstairs working on the song. This allows me to take the time to document this past week's journey for you, the reader, and for myself. I am breathing deeply and easily. The song is coming together. Even laundry got folded this morning. 🙌 It's all good.